Sometimes it takes a minor concussion, to save a buck
I have a mouth full of big ol’ choppers and a large, toothy grin. I get compliments for the most part, but many assume it was the result of braces.
The truth? I’ve never experienced a metal mouth nor was I born to have straight teeth. As a matter of fact, when I was 8, the gap between my 2 central incisors was wide enough to fit a straw.
A STRAW!
As I grew, the gap between my 2 front teeth miraculously resolved on its own. Yet, all my other teeth remained crooked. At age 11, I started to become very self-conscious about my smile and despite looking totally constipated, I trained myself to smile with my mouth closed.
After about a year of looking pissed off and bound up in photos… it happened. A single event that forever changed my oral life (giggle).
In the 7th grade, I went on a field trip to a water park with my Girl Scout troop. While I was walking around on my tippy toes in deep end of the wave pool, a big wave caught me off guard and sent me sailing into shallower water.
SMACK!
I can recall brief blackness then extreme disorientation. When I came to, I saw some kid rubbing his head and giving me a dirty look. I felt a sudden sharp pain in my jaw, and I could not bite down because my teeth were jostled into awkward positions. I felt the jagged edge of a newly chipped tooth…
“MY MOUTH!“ was all I could yell. A lifeguard helped me out of the pool and escorted me to the first aide station.
Within days my chipped tooth was repaired. Within weeks my original bite was restored. Within months my teeth started to move. They moved and moved until they found new and exciting locations within my mouth… until they were more organized… until they were straight. It was glorious!
(I’m not saying that they are perfect, but considering the alternative - I'll take it!)
And to this day, even a new hygienist will ask when I had my braces taken off. Suckers.
How about you - au natural, braces, or a swift horse’s kick to the mouth?
Comments
Never had braces. I was always kind of jealous of their colored elastics though.
Posted by: shelley | November 14, 2006 12:34 PM
That makes about as much sense as something one would see in a Looney Tunes cartoon, but I like it. I, on the other hand, did have braces. After having them for years and wearing retainers for many more years, my teeth went all out of whack again. And that, my friend, is whack.
Posted by: Fran | November 14, 2006 1:54 PM
3rd grade: chicken pox, glasses and yes, braces. The chicken pox went away. In 7th grade, I talked my parents into contacts. In 6th grade, the braces came off and my removable retainers made me celebrity for a day. ...But, now after all this time, my bottom teeth are still a little crooked. Hmph.
Posted by: lex | November 14, 2006 9:26 PM
S: for some reason, i felt jealousy toward those with braces. i recall making faux braces with paperclips.
F: looney is as looney does. that is pretty whack! do braces & retainers have any sort of money back guarentee? there must be a technicality somewhere.
L: chicken pox in the 3rd grade??? poor thing! if we could travel back in time to 1981... consider this an invite to spend the day with me at jack n' jill nursery school (across from the long ridge mall). minimal scarring, and you will be all good and healthy for kindergarden!
Posted by: kir | November 14, 2006 10:04 PM
no braces. My teeth were actually perfect until college when my wisdom teeth came in (and i didn't do anything about it for a year). They are still decently strait. I hope to gawd that owen's stay as strait as they are now!!
Posted by: Michael | November 14, 2006 11:35 PM
I have the worst teeth. The enamel is soft, they are so far from Hollywood movie star white, and they're kind of crooked. After years of wearing a retainer, they bounced back to where they were. On the other hand, my boyfriend has perfect teeth, and had to suffer no orthodontourture to get there. I wonder, if I eventually mate with him, will the kids end up with the good or bad tooth genes?
Posted by: Noelle | November 15, 2006 8:39 AM
True story:
My neighbor thought it would be really cool if we played tennis with a huge apple - being rather young (and, well, stupid) I didn't see the need to move out of the way when she stood in front of me with a racquet and a (granny smith?) apple.
She hit the apple with the racquet and rather than move, or catch it with my hands - for some reason my mouth was open and I caught the apple in my mouth - took it out and lost a tooth somewhere in the apple/in her lawn. I started to cry and she was upset as well.
I was upset because I couldn't get any sweet loot from the Tooth Fairy if I didn't have a tooth to give her...
Posted by: Dan | November 15, 2006 8:59 AM
M: my wisdom teeth started to mess things up a bit. but then they became impacted and i had all 4 removed. my teeth returned to normal positioning after that. how much will the "tooth fairy" be giving owen (when the time comes?)
N: hmmmm - where's Mr. Gregor Mendel when you need him?
D: ouch! i lost a few of my baby teeth "unintentionally" - they weren't even loose! i lost one eating pizza, another when my sister yanked a pillow out of my mouth (why it was in my mouth, who knows).
it really started to creep me out, but i think it was my adult teeth's way of saying "get the hell out!"
Posted by: kir | November 15, 2006 9:54 AM
Let me just tell you: There is nothing that dampens a Girl Scout outing like a head injury!
Posted by: Clare, the GS Leader | November 17, 2006 8:52 AM
C: ha, i thought this post would jog up some memories!
Posted by: kir | November 17, 2006 9:09 AM