My Third Fear
There are 3 things that I am afraid of:
1. People dressed up as Storm Troopers
2. Pennies (yes, the coin)
3. Choking to death, specifically, choking while alone
I think we all can agree that choking, sucks. I’m sure we’ve all experienced things going down the wrong pipe on occasion. I've been known to enjoy a delicious gulp of morning coffee, only to find myself gagging, coughing, feeling my face turn bright red (which further embarrassed me and thereby increased intensity), and then the tears - oh the tears (why must it always happen to me when I am with a group of people?) Perhaps you have even choked on something and required the assistance of another for removal?
When I was 13, I laughed while eating and a piece of apple lodged into my windpipe. It was scary as hell, but within a few minutes I was able to cough it out on my own (man, the PROJECTORY RATE on that thing was astonishing!) Afterward I was fine, but it still shook me up pretty badly. Hence my fear.
There are signs posted in every restaurant, and the world should be well of aware of what to do when another person is choking. But what if you are alone? It happens!
I acquired the following information from the Heimlich Institute (I wonder if the “I’ve fallen and I can't get up” lady was the artist’s muse?)
"When you choke, you can't speak or breathe and you need help immediately. Follow these steps to save yourself from choking:
1. Make a fist and place the thumb side of your fist against your upper abdomen, below the ribcage and above the navel.
2. Grasp your fist with your other hand and press into your upper abdomen with a quick upward thrust.
3. Repeat until object is expelled.
Alternatively, you can lean over a fixed horizontal object (table edge, chair, railing) and press your upper abdomen against the edge to produce a quick upward thrust. Repeat until object is expelled. See a physician immediately after rescue.
Do not view this post as grim, it is a solution to a potential problem. The Heimlich is not the only life saving technique out there, so it would be wise for you to learn or upgrade your skills in rescue breathing and CPR, especially if you have kids.
Remember: take small bites and eat slowly while gnawing on that T-bone and guzzling the merlot flavored Franzia, please.
Comments
What if you happen (God forbid) to be choking and the only person able to help is dressed as a Stormtrooper?
Posted by: Ryan | November 29, 2006 11:48 AM
R: whoa, i about passed out when i read that. what if he/she was throwing pennies at me too? i think i need to lay down.
Posted by: kir | November 29, 2006 11:53 AM
Choking is scary as hell! Thanks for the tips. Any advice on what to do if you're afraid of butterflies?
Posted by: shelley | November 29, 2006 2:04 PM
Crap. I had a really great pennie joke all lined up and then it was stolen.
Posted by: katie | November 29, 2006 3:16 PM
just to warn you - my friend bourcy saw a woman choking at work and tried to help her. he tried heimliching to the best of his abilities but it wasn't working. then someone else tried and she threw up. which i guess - helped? moral of the story - chew slowly and thoroughly.
Posted by: amy | November 29, 2006 5:08 PM
S: butterflies? really?
K: were you going to mention penny throwing storm troopers too? tsk tsk.
A: throwing up means the heimlech worked.
one of the reasons why i recommended training, is because people can pass out while choking and you need to be able to do the fun ol' "finger sweep" etc. but yes, as i mentioned at the end, it is best to just eat slowly and carefully.
Posted by: kir | November 30, 2006 9:32 AM